1. If we end up in Nashville, the Jack Daniels distillery in Lynchburg is only a 90 minute drive away
2. If we end up in San Francisco, the assrapings won't hurt as much seeing as how we're all used to it from watching TOB football
I feel like one of these battered women whose boyfriends get smashed and beat them up but they're too obsessed and pathetic to ever leave them even though they know in the back of their mind it'd be for the best. No matter how often BC football puts me in the hospital I'll be coming right back for more time and time again. I'm pretty sure that TOB will be appearing on next week's episode of Cops in a wife beater drunk off moonshine after the neighbors in the next trailer over called the 5-0 because I was screaming so loud after my latest nightly beating.